Why is it that every orientation I've ever gone to, all the people really do is try to scare the ever-loving shit out of you? It seems they aim to give you that "holy hell I chose this for myself" moment, because I definitely had that a few times today. Maybe it was discussing the fact that qualifiers are next year, and from what it sounds, I pretty much need to have my dissertation idea and how it is going to be done and everything by then.
I can't even figure out what realm within American government I would like to concentrate on.
So. Nervous, yeah. But I felt more in my element when I actually went to class, even though all we did was go over the syllabus (and so, we were let out very early). I'm excited because it is a math-type course, and despite how much I complained about it, I really do miss studying mathematics a lot. Reminds me: I need to look through my numerical analysis book. The professor said we're going to do some sort of regression analysis, and I swear we did that...
Also, got to meet the rest of the first-years, and they all seem really nice and cool! Unfortunately, I didn't get the vibe that any of them were nerdy in the liking anime/video games type, which is sad, but that's okay! And, there are only two girls in the class; me and a girl from South Korea. So. That's interesting. I might get together with someone later; he wanted to go over the articles for tomorrow's comparative class. I need to finish (or at least mostly finish) one of those readings.
Speaking of comparative, I was assigned to two discussion classes to TA. Somehow, I ended up with an 8:30 class on Monday. dsjkah wah. Why did I do that. The other one is at 4:40 on Wednesdays. They start next week. I'm kind of freaking out a little about it.
Something that disheartened me though was when I was talking to another first year. He asked me why I chose BU, and I explained my reasoning to him. However, when I said I was also accepted (despite it being very late) into UMD, he gave me a look and said that he definitely would have chosen there over here. Why did he have to say that? I love this place so far. I don't want to think about how things would be different if I decided to give UMD a more serious look and ended up going there instead.
They didn't accept me until two days before the national deadline for choosing graduate schools, and they did not even do it formally. And yet. I feel like I deliberately did not give them a closer look because he is going there.
Was that the wrong reason?
I hate this second guessing. Especially since I miss him a whole lot. I really just want to tell him. Even though he knows already.
dfjlkfjdl I GOT OFF TOPIC.
So, plans for tonight include finishing the book for my comparative class for tomorrow, meeting with my classmate, and just...trying to mentally absorb everything, I suppose.
I'm excited, but also nervous. I suppose that's normal for me.
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