Bah

This post will be dumb and is dumb but I'm in a weird state of mind right now.  I'm not sad, I'm just...contemplative, if that is the right word.  I should just go work out to get rid of feelings, but.  Eh.  I would say this has the possibility of getting deleted but it most likely won't due to laziness and also because if I had planned to delete it for real, then I wouldn't be writing it right now.

I miss saying "I meesy."  And I miss rocking.  And squeezies.  And talking like a baby and being super juvenile a lot of times.  Among plenty of other things.  Maybe I miss it because of the fact that I feel incredibly adult now, with where I am and what I'm studying (although deep down I know I'm really not an adult, and I still act silly and stupid a whole lot), and would like to cling onto memories where I acted not so adult...but I probably also just miss the person I did all that with.  I wonder if I'm alone in that sentiment or not.

I really am okay.  I just.  Being okay doesn't necessarily make me not miss a lot of things.  And although I honestly try to not think of them a lot, for my own sanity...I miss them.  I miss me not being afraid to think about them.  I miss him, and all I used to do with him.



Ugh, I disgust myself with entries like this one.  Time to go do an Insanity workout and try and feel more badass than I obviously am.

(Sometimes I wonder if these types of entries are counter-productive; I usually just hate myself for a while after writing them, but.  It's still therapeutic for me to actually go through the process of typing out stuff.  I don't know.)