Thank god I got most of my work done yesterday and Friday, because I have just been in no mood whatsoever to work today. I did manage to get myself up and get to Wegman's, at least. Although I bought salad and fruit and stuff, I ate chicken and fries for dinner. And regret nothing. Later, I might break into the ice cream I bought too. It's a good thing I work out, because my diet is so bad. (Plus, I've actually been eating like a normal person - though that might also be because my activity has gone up.)
Now, I need to figure out the quiz for my students tomorrow, as well as a lesson plan. I'll probably give them another game to solve; I might be able to spend a decent amount of time going over it after giving them the 10 minutes to figure it out. Plus, it's more math-based, so I like it. (I sometimes worry I get too math-heavy but I don't think so. What I want to put in is at most high school algebra and at least substitution. So I don't think it should be a big issue.)
So much for doing comparative readings and getting a reaction paper done. That shit is just not happening at all tonight.
Also, I'm contemplating doing something I kind of don't want to do. I'm still going to think about it...
Dexter season 7 premier is tonight. I hope once it airs, it'll be on the internet for streaming. Because I want to watch.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
I wonder
If I should actually go see someone. Like, a therapist or a counselor or something like that. Which I've been saying I should do, but I haven't, mostly because I'm a) afraid to, and b) lazy. While I've been doing very well since being back at school in terms of emotions, I still get kind of bummed at times, and, even more...I guess worrisome is all these dreams I've been having.
Last night's was a bit more...explicit. He came over my house, I think for Thanksgiving, and...well, the couch was there and no one was around. I recall things happening prior to and after that, and if I wrote about this when I first woke up, there would be more details. But since I've been up, I've forgotten some of the other stuff, while the more...interesting ones have been ingrained in my mind.
The fact that I've been remembering dreams alone is unusual, and while I'm not surprised that he is in many of them, given reasons...the sex parts have been freaking me out a little. While these aren't the first sex dreams I've had, they've been very frequent lately.
I don't know.
Anyway, going to go shopping after making a list. Definitely going to get some ice cream because I've been craving it for a while. I'm feeling lazy today, so it is really good that I got a lot of work done yesterday and Friday, even though I have much more to do before tomorrow.
Last night's was a bit more...explicit. He came over my house, I think for Thanksgiving, and...well, the couch was there and no one was around. I recall things happening prior to and after that, and if I wrote about this when I first woke up, there would be more details. But since I've been up, I've forgotten some of the other stuff, while the more...interesting ones have been ingrained in my mind.
The fact that I've been remembering dreams alone is unusual, and while I'm not surprised that he is in many of them, given reasons...the sex parts have been freaking me out a little. While these aren't the first sex dreams I've had, they've been very frequent lately.
I don't know.
Anyway, going to go shopping after making a list. Definitely going to get some ice cream because I've been craving it for a while. I'm feeling lazy today, so it is really good that I got a lot of work done yesterday and Friday, even though I have much more to do before tomorrow.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Mario Kart
After spending most of my day reading, I was able to head over to electrical engineer's house to play video games. We played Mario Kart and "broken" Brawl, which is just Brawl but fixed, apparently. While he beat me two out of three times in Mario Kart, I beat him most times in Brawl, which pleased me. (Also, the portraits of the characters look like MS Paint drawings and they're super cute. I got a picture of Marth and Ike, which will probably go up on facebook at some point.) I'm still somewhat good at it! Part of me wonders if I should start practicing it again to try and get better, even though I most likely would never get to a point where I would be able to win tournaments or anything like that. Still, it is really fun!
One of his roommates was home, and she cooked a steak and mashed potatoes, while he got up to boil vegetables. They let me eat with them, which was awesome. I haven't had steak since I moved up here, basically, and she was a really good cook. The veggies were good too, though I skipped out on the potatoes. I am a disgrace to my Irish heritage, not liking potatoes and all that.
We just spent dinner and a little after talking and everything, which was awesome. They're both super nerdy in what they like, and it felt awesome: meeting people with nerdy interests was something I wanted to do, and it was sweet that I finally have met people with that! Hopefully they'll let me go over again and more often to play games and maybe watch stuff as well.
One thing though; the guy is fond of flirtatious/dirty comments, which he claimed I would appreciate more when we were better friends (which makes me think he just says those to everyone aha). I'm not uncomfortable with it, so to say, but I am still super awkward about it. Which he realized, even before I actually told him that. I'm just an awkward person overall. But that's okay.
Tomorrow I need to go grocery shopping, I think, since I didn't go today. I need to buy some healthier foodstuffs; some salad and apples and stuff, in addition to my normal eats. Also, I might write a reaction paper to one of my World Politics readings, and hopefully read most of the Comparative readings.
One of his roommates was home, and she cooked a steak and mashed potatoes, while he got up to boil vegetables. They let me eat with them, which was awesome. I haven't had steak since I moved up here, basically, and she was a really good cook. The veggies were good too, though I skipped out on the potatoes. I am a disgrace to my Irish heritage, not liking potatoes and all that.
We just spent dinner and a little after talking and everything, which was awesome. They're both super nerdy in what they like, and it felt awesome: meeting people with nerdy interests was something I wanted to do, and it was sweet that I finally have met people with that! Hopefully they'll let me go over again and more often to play games and maybe watch stuff as well.
One thing though; the guy is fond of flirtatious/dirty comments, which he claimed I would appreciate more when we were better friends (which makes me think he just says those to everyone aha). I'm not uncomfortable with it, so to say, but I am still super awkward about it. Which he realized, even before I actually told him that. I'm just an awkward person overall. But that's okay.
Tomorrow I need to go grocery shopping, I think, since I didn't go today. I need to buy some healthier foodstuffs; some salad and apples and stuff, in addition to my normal eats. Also, I might write a reaction paper to one of my World Politics readings, and hopefully read most of the Comparative readings.
Textbooks
So far I've spent $358.11 this semester ordering books for classes. And I'm not even out of September. I have not even ordered all of them yet. This makes my wallet very sad indeed. Thank god I don't really spend all too much a lot of times outside of the necessities. (And also thank god for my extra money which I still need to talk to the secretary about. She was sick on Thursday and Friday so I couldn't talk to her then.)
Finished my readings for World last night, and hoping to finish my readings for Methods today, and maybe get started on the Comparative readings! I am going to go hand out with electrical engineer and play Mario Kart with him later, so I need to be sure I'm productive most of the day. Plus, gotta work out too, and I should head grocery shopping at some point.
Oh, and lesson plan. Need to take care of that for Monday/Wednesday.
I would rather just lay around and watch tv and be lazy all day.
Finished my readings for World last night, and hoping to finish my readings for Methods today, and maybe get started on the Comparative readings! I am going to go hand out with electrical engineer and play Mario Kart with him later, so I need to be sure I'm productive most of the day. Plus, gotta work out too, and I should head grocery shopping at some point.
Oh, and lesson plan. Need to take care of that for Monday/Wednesday.
I would rather just lay around and watch tv and be lazy all day.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Too soon
It is probably a bad sign that I'm already looking at new places to live for next year. I would like to - if people are into the idea - ask some friends if they would like to rent a house, because honestly it really doesn't seem like it is much more than an apartment. Housing is really quite cheap up here, which is nice.
My big thing honestly is that I want a dog. And not a small 25 pound dog, which is what most apartments cut the weight limit off at. No. I want a Retriever, of some sort, I think. Or something bigger like that. I'd take a medium size, too, but I would rather get the bigger dog I want than anything, and I feel like I will only be able to do that if I am able to rent a house. Which is dependent upon me finding new and more people to live with.
I probably should not be looking at this yet. Every time I look at adoption websites, I am torturing myself, I know it. I just really want a dog. Really really badly.
Four out of my five readings for Monday are done. I would like to finish the last one tonight. It is long, but I find that if I sit at my desk rather than in my bed, I concentrate better. Less comfy, but I suppose that is the point, is it not?
My big thing honestly is that I want a dog. And not a small 25 pound dog, which is what most apartments cut the weight limit off at. No. I want a Retriever, of some sort, I think. Or something bigger like that. I'd take a medium size, too, but I would rather get the bigger dog I want than anything, and I feel like I will only be able to do that if I am able to rent a house. Which is dependent upon me finding new and more people to live with.
I probably should not be looking at this yet. Every time I look at adoption websites, I am torturing myself, I know it. I just really want a dog. Really really badly.
Four out of my five readings for Monday are done. I would like to finish the last one tonight. It is long, but I find that if I sit at my desk rather than in my bed, I concentrate better. Less comfy, but I suppose that is the point, is it not?
Readings
Having two weeks where I had days off I think camouflaged exactly how much reading we are expected to do for each class. For one class in the near future, I know I am going to have to read three books. (Which I need to order. Or ask one of the older students if they have it or have a pdf of it or something like that.) This whole weekend is going to be spent reading, basically, with hopefully some Skyrim in between, or something like that.
I feel a little bad; my friend wants to come up and visit me in October sometime, and I already said no to the first week because of the department party on the 6th, and now I'm wondering if I'll have to postpone the week after too just because I'll have to read and grade papers that weekend. I don't know if I can have a friend over for the weekend when I have so much work to do. I feel bad though since I invited him to come up. Maybe if I ask to postpone to the weekend following that... Only thing is that is the weekend right before UC's homecoming, so that would mean I would have two weekends in a row of stuff to do.
Argh. I'll figure it out. Hopefully.
For now, I must read. And then work out. And then read some more.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Dawnguard
I know this is my third entry today but I'm having so many Skyrim feels while Dawnguard downloads.
And yes, I realize my priorities might be a little messed because I don't have too much money to throw around and I just spent $20 on dlc, but...I don't care. I want to play Skyrim.
I'm stupidly excited right now. Like, bouncing on my bed in anticipation.
There might be more Skyrim posts in the near future.
Tonight might just be me, Skyrim, and a Mike's Hard Lemonade kind of night. And I realize I'm putting off working. But I have tomorrow and all weekend for that!
And yes, I realize my priorities might be a little messed because I don't have too much money to throw around and I just spent $20 on dlc, but...I don't care. I want to play Skyrim.
I'm stupidly excited right now. Like, bouncing on my bed in anticipation.
There might be more Skyrim posts in the near future.
Tonight might just be me, Skyrim, and a Mike's Hard Lemonade kind of night. And I realize I'm putting off working. But I have tomorrow and all weekend for that!
Bah
This post will be dumb and is dumb but I'm in a weird state of mind right now. I'm not sad, I'm just...contemplative, if that is the right word. I should just go work out to get rid of feelings, but. Eh. I would say this has the possibility of getting deleted but it most likely won't due to laziness and also because if I had planned to delete it for real, then I wouldn't be writing it right now.
I miss saying "I meesy." And I miss rocking. And squeezies. And talking like a baby and being super juvenile a lot of times. Among plenty of other things. Maybe I miss it because of the fact that I feel incredibly adult now, with where I am and what I'm studying (although deep down I know I'm really not an adult, and I still act silly and stupid a whole lot), and would like to cling onto memories where I acted not so adult...but I probably also just miss the person I did all that with. I wonder if I'm alone in that sentiment or not.
I really am okay. I just. Being okay doesn't necessarily make me not miss a lot of things. And although I honestly try to not think of them a lot, for my own sanity...I miss them. I miss me not being afraid to think about them. I miss him, and all I used to do with him.
Ugh, I disgust myself with entries like this one. Time to go do an Insanity workout and try and feel more badass than I obviously am.
(Sometimes I wonder if these types of entries are counter-productive; I usually just hate myself for a while after writing them, but. It's still therapeutic for me to actually go through the process of typing out stuff. I don't know.)
I miss saying "I meesy." And I miss rocking. And squeezies. And talking like a baby and being super juvenile a lot of times. Among plenty of other things. Maybe I miss it because of the fact that I feel incredibly adult now, with where I am and what I'm studying (although deep down I know I'm really not an adult, and I still act silly and stupid a whole lot), and would like to cling onto memories where I acted not so adult...but I probably also just miss the person I did all that with. I wonder if I'm alone in that sentiment or not.
I really am okay. I just. Being okay doesn't necessarily make me not miss a lot of things. And although I honestly try to not think of them a lot, for my own sanity...I miss them. I miss me not being afraid to think about them. I miss him, and all I used to do with him.
Ugh, I disgust myself with entries like this one. Time to go do an Insanity workout and try and feel more badass than I obviously am.
(Sometimes I wonder if these types of entries are counter-productive; I usually just hate myself for a while after writing them, but. It's still therapeutic for me to actually go through the process of typing out stuff. I don't know.)
Dreams. Dreams Everywhere.
What is it that I'm doing that is making me have and remember all these weird-ass dreams? Can you even control whether or not you do recall them, though? I'm really not sure.
Anyway, this one was all over the place, though I still want to write down the stuff I actually do remember. At first, I was sailing (for some unknown reason), and a large squid-like creature attacked me. It resembled Cthulhu, and maybe that's what it was exactly, but at the time I didn't really care, because...you know, getting attacked and all. I took the fight to the water though, and kept cutting through tentacles in an attempt to at least slow it down. Also, I was a really fast swimmer (again...for some unknown reason).
Cut to another place, like a crossroads of some sort, though first I was in a building, and had my laptop with me. We were saying how we couldn't travel by sea because of the creature, so we had to use horses on land (why there was a lack of cars and yet functioning internet...I have no idea). He was there (I don't know why...I could've used his help on the boat, at least, god), giving some sort of lecture, to which I barely listened to, and instead spent my time writing passive-aggressive statuses on facebook.
We went outside, and watched others off in their horses and their buggies and everything. Finally, he left, and then I did, presumably off to different places. Except...we were actually going to the same place: my house. I must have met up with my dad in a deleted scene of this dream because all of a sudden I was driving down one of the roads to get to my house, with my dad in the car. We saw him, who was walking with a bunch of blankets on his head as if he was trying to shield himself from the sun. Although we were in a car, he was not too far behind us when we got home. My dad apparently had programmed a difficult video game and he made a comment about that. I responded that it probably would be no problem for him since he was so good at video games, though I said it in a very snarky tone while rolling my eyes. Then we went inside, and he stayed in the garage.
My dreams are getting weirder and weirder. Good thing I don't pay attention to any sort of message behind them or anything like that.
Need to talk about my paycheck today. Also might ride to the school again, but right now I'm feeling lazy so I might not.
Anyway, this one was all over the place, though I still want to write down the stuff I actually do remember. At first, I was sailing (for some unknown reason), and a large squid-like creature attacked me. It resembled Cthulhu, and maybe that's what it was exactly, but at the time I didn't really care, because...you know, getting attacked and all. I took the fight to the water though, and kept cutting through tentacles in an attempt to at least slow it down. Also, I was a really fast swimmer (again...for some unknown reason).
Cut to another place, like a crossroads of some sort, though first I was in a building, and had my laptop with me. We were saying how we couldn't travel by sea because of the creature, so we had to use horses on land (why there was a lack of cars and yet functioning internet...I have no idea). He was there (I don't know why...I could've used his help on the boat, at least, god), giving some sort of lecture, to which I barely listened to, and instead spent my time writing passive-aggressive statuses on facebook.
We went outside, and watched others off in their horses and their buggies and everything. Finally, he left, and then I did, presumably off to different places. Except...we were actually going to the same place: my house. I must have met up with my dad in a deleted scene of this dream because all of a sudden I was driving down one of the roads to get to my house, with my dad in the car. We saw him, who was walking with a bunch of blankets on his head as if he was trying to shield himself from the sun. Although we were in a car, he was not too far behind us when we got home. My dad apparently had programmed a difficult video game and he made a comment about that. I responded that it probably would be no problem for him since he was so good at video games, though I said it in a very snarky tone while rolling my eyes. Then we went inside, and he stayed in the garage.
My dreams are getting weirder and weirder. Good thing I don't pay attention to any sort of message behind them or anything like that.
Need to talk about my paycheck today. Also might ride to the school again, but right now I'm feeling lazy so I might not.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Money
Well, it looks like I got paid, although I have two problems.
The amount that was direct deposited into my checking account is too small to have included my scholarship money, which means I'm going to need to speak with someone tomorrow about that. (Although I will double check with a friend or an older student to see exactly how much they received, if they're willing to tell me. If we were paid the same, then I know that I should receive more. If I was paid more, then I should be okay. Though it does seem too small...)
Second, I only wanted half of my check to go to that checking account; if indeed only half went in, then I received a big ass check, which I think is too much even if my scholarship were included. So, either way, I'm most likely going to need to talk with someone.
I'll probably ask the head of the department, and see what he has to say.
Ugh, I hate talking about money. I really, really do.
The amount that was direct deposited into my checking account is too small to have included my scholarship money, which means I'm going to need to speak with someone tomorrow about that. (Although I will double check with a friend or an older student to see exactly how much they received, if they're willing to tell me. If we were paid the same, then I know that I should receive more. If I was paid more, then I should be okay. Though it does seem too small...)
Second, I only wanted half of my check to go to that checking account; if indeed only half went in, then I received a big ass check, which I think is too much even if my scholarship were included. So, either way, I'm most likely going to need to talk with someone.
I'll probably ask the head of the department, and see what he has to say.
Ugh, I hate talking about money. I really, really do.
TMI Dream
It's weird that I go through long periods of time where I never remember dreams, and then all of a sudden I'll start remembering (or semi-remembering) a dream almost every single night. I usually like remembering my dreams; they give me stories to tell. Even those dreams where they mentally scarred me a little bit. Like the one from last night. So, this might be a little TMI, but. Oh well.
Now, I don't recall quite every detail, but I do remember that my friend Danny was living with me, for some reason, and he was out at the time. While he was gone I started hooking up with some guy that I absolutely cannot stand from my cohort. (Plus, I am not physically attracted to him in the slightest, so I have no idea why my brain decided to go with him. Ugh, brain, why.) The only reason we stopped was because Danny came home, and then...well...rightfully so, he judged me severely. My dream self was even relieved that I was stopped before anything more happened.
I know a bunch of other stuff happened in the dream, but those details I cannot remember, and I know I did wake up a few times last night. I guess I was just so mentally disturbed by that one part that I had to remember it. Too bad I don't have bleach for my brain, or something.
Laundry really really needs to be done today, so I'll probably have to head over to the bank to get a roll of quarters. Plus I have a book to read, so today is going to be quite busy...sort of. I do have off, so that is good.
Season 7 of Dexter starts in four days, and I am stupidly excited. I just hope the one website I'm relying on for the episodes comes through for me very fast.
Oh, and I found a website that teaches basic programming and everything, which I've started to do. Even though I hate on it, I recognize how useful it could be to know how to code things, so I would like to learn. Plus, I'm just sick of not knowing how to do it. Hopefully this website will teach me better than the actual class I had, because that sucked. So far, it is doing pretty well, and is actually sort of fun!
Now, I don't recall quite every detail, but I do remember that my friend Danny was living with me, for some reason, and he was out at the time. While he was gone I started hooking up with some guy that I absolutely cannot stand from my cohort. (Plus, I am not physically attracted to him in the slightest, so I have no idea why my brain decided to go with him. Ugh, brain, why.) The only reason we stopped was because Danny came home, and then...well...rightfully so, he judged me severely. My dream self was even relieved that I was stopped before anything more happened.
I know a bunch of other stuff happened in the dream, but those details I cannot remember, and I know I did wake up a few times last night. I guess I was just so mentally disturbed by that one part that I had to remember it. Too bad I don't have bleach for my brain, or something.
Laundry really really needs to be done today, so I'll probably have to head over to the bank to get a roll of quarters. Plus I have a book to read, so today is going to be quite busy...sort of. I do have off, so that is good.
Season 7 of Dexter starts in four days, and I am stupidly excited. I just hope the one website I'm relying on for the episodes comes through for me very fast.
Oh, and I found a website that teaches basic programming and everything, which I've started to do. Even though I hate on it, I recognize how useful it could be to know how to code things, so I would like to learn. Plus, I'm just sick of not knowing how to do it. Hopefully this website will teach me better than the actual class I had, because that sucked. So far, it is doing pretty well, and is actually sort of fun!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Biking
If I committed to bike riding to school more often, with all these hills, I won't need to join a gym or anything. Problem is committing to bike riding more. I think until I actually join a gym, I'll just do some insanity workouts at my apartment. It makes sense, I mean...I can save money that way and still get a really good workout and everything.
Also, I swear, if I find one more unnecessary light on when I return from somewhere, I'm going to start demanding to pay only a third of the damn energy bill. It's really frustrating because its not like it needs to be on and its just wasting energy and bah. Then again, my roommate situation is not working out as well as I originally had hoped it would. That'll be an entry for another day, probably.
Do I want another grilled cheese? I think I might.
Also, I swear, if I find one more unnecessary light on when I return from somewhere, I'm going to start demanding to pay only a third of the damn energy bill. It's really frustrating because its not like it needs to be on and its just wasting energy and bah. Then again, my roommate situation is not working out as well as I originally had hoped it would. That'll be an entry for another day, probably.
Do I want another grilled cheese? I think I might.
Pants-less
I lose my pants an awful lot when I am sleeping. I'll go to bed wearing them, and wake up without them. Unconsciously, I'm probably trying to tell myself that happiness comes from pants-less sleep, or something like that. Or I just get warm at night. But I like the first explanation better.
Stupidly, I forgot to defer one of my loans (the other one deferred automatically, I believe), and I lost a good chunk of money because of my automatic payments. Plus, I'm sending in my rent payment today, so I'm going to lose more there. Money is not usually a problem for me, and even after this I should be okay, but it always makes me sad to see a huge amount lost at one time. Oh well. Once the checks start coming in and I open up an account at a local bank up here so I have somewhere around, I'm sure I'll see my accounts grow again.
I still have not received my second print, so I think if I don't get it today, I'm going to email the website and say something. (I actually had a dream where it came in a clothing box and I had to unwrap it and everything. Weird.) The first print I got won't stay on the wall, either, so I might need to buy a frame for it.
[Edit] - That dream must have been a sign, because it came today! Huzzah!
A bike ride over to the school today might be a good idea. I should also email my students telling them I'm going to switch office hours this week because the school is letting out for Yom Kippur at 1 today. And since I didn't have office hours last week due to Rosh Hashanah, I should just reschedule rather than not have them at all again.
I've gotten back into my habit of rambling, it seems. Not really sure what to make of that, but oh well.
I wish it would be acceptable and not weird at all to go to class sans pants. But I think the undergrads and my professor might not appreciate that.
(Also, I again realize I post a lot and sometimes don't have too much to say. It's fun though.)
Stupidly, I forgot to defer one of my loans (the other one deferred automatically, I believe), and I lost a good chunk of money because of my automatic payments. Plus, I'm sending in my rent payment today, so I'm going to lose more there. Money is not usually a problem for me, and even after this I should be okay, but it always makes me sad to see a huge amount lost at one time. Oh well. Once the checks start coming in and I open up an account at a local bank up here so I have somewhere around, I'm sure I'll see my accounts grow again.
I still have not received my second print, so I think if I don't get it today, I'm going to email the website and say something. (I actually had a dream where it came in a clothing box and I had to unwrap it and everything. Weird.) The first print I got won't stay on the wall, either, so I might need to buy a frame for it.
[Edit] - That dream must have been a sign, because it came today! Huzzah!
A bike ride over to the school today might be a good idea. I should also email my students telling them I'm going to switch office hours this week because the school is letting out for Yom Kippur at 1 today. And since I didn't have office hours last week due to Rosh Hashanah, I should just reschedule rather than not have them at all again.
I've gotten back into my habit of rambling, it seems. Not really sure what to make of that, but oh well.
I wish it would be acceptable and not weird at all to go to class sans pants. But I think the undergrads and my professor might not appreciate that.
(Also, I again realize I post a lot and sometimes don't have too much to say. It's fun though.)
Monday, September 24, 2012
Models and such
I've realized I do much better when teaching similarly to how one would teach a math class than I do facilitating discussions. My TA session today was really just me writing models and games up on the board and explaining them, and I felt much more comfortable than when I was trying to create a seminar. While seminars are my preferred way of learning (and thus, I will need to figure out a better way to create interesting discussion), I think I like this method of teaching because I've only ever tutored or taught math before. Never before have I really done any teaching in political science specifically, so it is a little different and something I'm going to have to learn along the way, I suppose.
Now, instead of being able to go back home and go to sleep, I need to finish (or try to finish) reading this book for World Politics later. Dr. Waltz, I barely get what you're saying in this, but I'm pretty sure I disagree with it, you being a realist and all.
I have no class tomorrow and Wednesday. Which means I'll just be reading and such. I really should not complain; my last two weekends were spent doing all sorts of non-work related activities. I probably should not get used to that.
Department party on the sixth at my comparative politics professor's house (I think that's where it is, anyway...). I need to figure out what foodstuffs I will bring! I'm excited for it though.
I need to do laundry, but I don't have enough quarters with which to do laundry. I'll need to fix that as soon as I can.
Also I get paid again this week. I hope that my scholarship is included in the check, because otherwise I'm going to need to talk to someone about the money, and I really hate talking about money. But, I did earn it, and I kind of need it, so talk I shall if it is not in there!
I'm sleepy as hell. Movie Monday (if we go) might turn into nap at movies Monday.
[Edit] - I'm reading Waltz, and I'm just thinking about how Shishio Makoto would probably love him, with all this talk about survival of the fittest among states and how the strong states deter the weak from "asserting their claims." I'm such a nerd, thinking of how a character from Rurouni Kenshin would react to a theory of international politics. (Also, I should watch that again.)
Now, instead of being able to go back home and go to sleep, I need to finish (or try to finish) reading this book for World Politics later. Dr. Waltz, I barely get what you're saying in this, but I'm pretty sure I disagree with it, you being a realist and all.
I have no class tomorrow and Wednesday. Which means I'll just be reading and such. I really should not complain; my last two weekends were spent doing all sorts of non-work related activities. I probably should not get used to that.
Department party on the sixth at my comparative politics professor's house (I think that's where it is, anyway...). I need to figure out what foodstuffs I will bring! I'm excited for it though.
I need to do laundry, but I don't have enough quarters with which to do laundry. I'll need to fix that as soon as I can.
Also I get paid again this week. I hope that my scholarship is included in the check, because otherwise I'm going to need to talk to someone about the money, and I really hate talking about money. But, I did earn it, and I kind of need it, so talk I shall if it is not in there!
I'm sleepy as hell. Movie Monday (if we go) might turn into nap at movies Monday.
[Edit] - I'm reading Waltz, and I'm just thinking about how Shishio Makoto would probably love him, with all this talk about survival of the fittest among states and how the strong states deter the weak from "asserting their claims." I'm such a nerd, thinking of how a character from Rurouni Kenshin would react to a theory of international politics. (Also, I should watch that again.)
Sunday, September 23, 2012
PA Wedding
Any time with Karen is time incredibly well spent, and I always wish I could squish the space between us closer together so we could hang out much more often. Three and a half hours to see her is far too much, and I'm hoping we could find a cool spot in between someday so that we could have more reunions. (I think the next time I'll be able to see her won't be until UC's homecoming, which is sad, but still not too far away in reality!)
I arrived at her house late Friday, and we immediately went out to Phoenixville to get food and to meet up with two other girls who graduated with us. The pub we went to was really crowded and loud, but we were able to eventually secure a spot on the second floor, where we could at least hear ourselves talk. It was a really sweet Irish bar, though! Anyway, it was awesome seeing more people as well, and we just caught up on what we were all doing and what friends absent were up to. I figured I would have to try to see everyone again at some point. I don't want to be a stranger to my friends from undergrad!
I had a very odd dream that night, which involved a weird scale; each time I stepped on it, my weight went down drastically. I don't remember many other details, and I do not know why my weight was an issue in my dream, since I've actually done much better eating-wise since classes started. Plus, I think I have enough energy to start going back to the gym, so I would like to do that this week at some point! If not tomorrow after class, then Tuesday, since we have off for Yom Kippur.
The wedding ceremony was on Saturday, and it was very traditionally Catholic. Absolutely beautiful, though I realized how long it has been since I've been to church at all (they changed some of the responses on me), and how I always have some sort of inappropriate comment for almost everything that is said. I kept my mouth shut though! Didn't want to be rude or anything like that. But the priest was actually really cool, and everything he said was very nice.
Immediately after the ceremony was the reception, and there I got to become again acquainted with Karen's two cousins who visited us in sophomore year. They're awesome, but then, her whole family is awesome, so that is not really a surprise. (I think her family and my family would get along really well. A Polish family and an Irish family getting together for a party? My god. Think of the possibilities.) A friend of one of her cousins was actually somewhat upset when I told her that I lived far away; she wanted to invite me to a house party she is having next weekend. I was sad to say that I wouldn't be able to make it. Maybe another time!
We danced, we drank (I realized the wine that they had - which is also the wine my parents usually get - is actually quite good), and we just had a good time! I didn't drink as much as I wanted because of the lack of an open bar, but sober dancing is fun as well! Plus they played Gangham Style. I was more than pleased when that came on. (And pretty much everyone knew the dance, which was amazing.)
I was able to take a centerpiece (which is so nice and has these squishy balls in it; I have no idea what they are, though), and the gifts for the guests were homemade coasters! I was able to snag the ones made out of corks, which looks so cool. After everything was over, we drove Karen's sister back to her college, and then just talked the rest of the way home. She listened to many of my topics, some of which she's heard before but I always bring up with my closest friends who are willing to indulge me.
We watched Shaun of the Dead upon getting home, and I played a little with her Golden Retriever (who is a-fucking-dorable), and then we went to sleep. Well, I first read the rest of one of my articles for tomorrow and then I got to sleep. Still need to read an entire book though.
Today, one of her cats greeted me this morning, and chilled with me for almost an hour before my alarm went off at 10. I think he liked that I was constantly petting him. Karen and I hung around until noonish, talking and whatnot, and then she took me to one of her local pizzerias, which was very very good. As much as I didn't want to, I left after that, and arrived back here! Now I need to do work. Plus I realized I left my toothpaste, sadly, so I'll need to run out and get more before tonight. I'll swing by the school too, maybe, since I need to make more copies of the quiz for my students tomorrow. Not looking forward to waking up that early, but oh well.
Ever since undergrad, I've developed this odd love and attachment to Pennsylvania. I miss it when I'm gone, and have this fondness for it when I'm visiting. Although it will never take New York's place in my heart as my home, it - along with London - became one of my home away from homes. Despite how much I want the opportunity to live in England, I wouldn't mind PA either. Sure, it has some issues, and isn't as blue as I would always like, but I have an attachment to it.
I arrived at her house late Friday, and we immediately went out to Phoenixville to get food and to meet up with two other girls who graduated with us. The pub we went to was really crowded and loud, but we were able to eventually secure a spot on the second floor, where we could at least hear ourselves talk. It was a really sweet Irish bar, though! Anyway, it was awesome seeing more people as well, and we just caught up on what we were all doing and what friends absent were up to. I figured I would have to try to see everyone again at some point. I don't want to be a stranger to my friends from undergrad!
I had a very odd dream that night, which involved a weird scale; each time I stepped on it, my weight went down drastically. I don't remember many other details, and I do not know why my weight was an issue in my dream, since I've actually done much better eating-wise since classes started. Plus, I think I have enough energy to start going back to the gym, so I would like to do that this week at some point! If not tomorrow after class, then Tuesday, since we have off for Yom Kippur.
The wedding ceremony was on Saturday, and it was very traditionally Catholic. Absolutely beautiful, though I realized how long it has been since I've been to church at all (they changed some of the responses on me), and how I always have some sort of inappropriate comment for almost everything that is said. I kept my mouth shut though! Didn't want to be rude or anything like that. But the priest was actually really cool, and everything he said was very nice.
Immediately after the ceremony was the reception, and there I got to become again acquainted with Karen's two cousins who visited us in sophomore year. They're awesome, but then, her whole family is awesome, so that is not really a surprise. (I think her family and my family would get along really well. A Polish family and an Irish family getting together for a party? My god. Think of the possibilities.) A friend of one of her cousins was actually somewhat upset when I told her that I lived far away; she wanted to invite me to a house party she is having next weekend. I was sad to say that I wouldn't be able to make it. Maybe another time!
We danced, we drank (I realized the wine that they had - which is also the wine my parents usually get - is actually quite good), and we just had a good time! I didn't drink as much as I wanted because of the lack of an open bar, but sober dancing is fun as well! Plus they played Gangham Style. I was more than pleased when that came on. (And pretty much everyone knew the dance, which was amazing.)
I was able to take a centerpiece (which is so nice and has these squishy balls in it; I have no idea what they are, though), and the gifts for the guests were homemade coasters! I was able to snag the ones made out of corks, which looks so cool. After everything was over, we drove Karen's sister back to her college, and then just talked the rest of the way home. She listened to many of my topics, some of which she's heard before but I always bring up with my closest friends who are willing to indulge me.
We watched Shaun of the Dead upon getting home, and I played a little with her Golden Retriever (who is a-fucking-dorable), and then we went to sleep. Well, I first read the rest of one of my articles for tomorrow and then I got to sleep. Still need to read an entire book though.
Today, one of her cats greeted me this morning, and chilled with me for almost an hour before my alarm went off at 10. I think he liked that I was constantly petting him. Karen and I hung around until noonish, talking and whatnot, and then she took me to one of her local pizzerias, which was very very good. As much as I didn't want to, I left after that, and arrived back here! Now I need to do work. Plus I realized I left my toothpaste, sadly, so I'll need to run out and get more before tonight. I'll swing by the school too, maybe, since I need to make more copies of the quiz for my students tomorrow. Not looking forward to waking up that early, but oh well.
Ever since undergrad, I've developed this odd love and attachment to Pennsylvania. I miss it when I'm gone, and have this fondness for it when I'm visiting. Although it will never take New York's place in my heart as my home, it - along with London - became one of my home away from homes. Despite how much I want the opportunity to live in England, I wouldn't mind PA either. Sure, it has some issues, and isn't as blue as I would always like, but I have an attachment to it.
Friday, September 21, 2012
PA-bound
Heading to Pennsylvania later to be my friend's date to her cousin's wedding (she was mine to my sister's wedding); once again, we're going to be awesome and tear up the dance floor and everything! Only thing is that I'll need to figure out a way to read a little when I can, since I have a lot to do for Monday and haven't done as much as I should have by now.
I still want to ask things. But I won't. Because nothing's really changed! Which is fine and everything. My curiosity will have to go unsatisfied, at least for the time being.
I really want a dog. I've been looking at places for next year already that might let me get one. Obviously, looking to get a Golden Retriever, but...oddly, I've also been looking at Chesapeake Bay Retrievers. Hah, I've really been influenced.
Two workshops today and then heading out. Will download another World/Inferno cd and burn it before I go.
I still want to ask things. But I won't. Because nothing's really changed! Which is fine and everything. My curiosity will have to go unsatisfied, at least for the time being.
I really want a dog. I've been looking at places for next year already that might let me get one. Obviously, looking to get a Golden Retriever, but...oddly, I've also been looking at Chesapeake Bay Retrievers. Hah, I've really been influenced.
Two workshops today and then heading out. Will download another World/Inferno cd and burn it before I go.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Semi-Date
Just got back from my semi-date, and I have to say it was really very...enjoyable. I did have a good time, which was nice after how I felt all yesterday (and this morning was not exactly the best either).
We were supposed to see Expendables 2 (which I really did not have any interest in seeing, but I had been told it was fun, so I figured it would be alright) at 4, but we decided to get food first. Since my class ran late and he had to drive his roommate somewhere, we ended up not getting to the restaurant until 3:30, which pretty much made it so that we weren't going to make that showing. He drove, since I ran home to drop off my laptop and everything right after class.
Lunch was really good; we sat outside on the patio, and each ordered a cocktail and noms. The conversation was really nice. We just discussed pretty much a random assortment of things: family, where we live, shows and games...among other topics. It was just really nice and fun.
Since we didn't get out of the restaurant until a little after 4:30, we decided to see the Possession (the next showing of the Expendables wasn't until 6:30). I had already seen it, but I figured it was good enough to see again, and I knew he had been slightly interested in it.
He had never been to that theatre. So he was very pleased with it.
After the movie (which it seemed like he enjoyed, despite calling it evil aha [though I guess that is good for a horror film]), we ran into the pet store, looked longingly at puppies (there was a husky puppy there today and gahhhh), and then he drove me home.
He asked me what I was doing tomorrow, and I told him I was going to PA. But, we'll probably hang out again when I get back at some point! Which would be nice.
We were supposed to see Expendables 2 (which I really did not have any interest in seeing, but I had been told it was fun, so I figured it would be alright) at 4, but we decided to get food first. Since my class ran late and he had to drive his roommate somewhere, we ended up not getting to the restaurant until 3:30, which pretty much made it so that we weren't going to make that showing. He drove, since I ran home to drop off my laptop and everything right after class.
Lunch was really good; we sat outside on the patio, and each ordered a cocktail and noms. The conversation was really nice. We just discussed pretty much a random assortment of things: family, where we live, shows and games...among other topics. It was just really nice and fun.
Since we didn't get out of the restaurant until a little after 4:30, we decided to see the Possession (the next showing of the Expendables wasn't until 6:30). I had already seen it, but I figured it was good enough to see again, and I knew he had been slightly interested in it.
He had never been to that theatre. So he was very pleased with it.
After the movie (which it seemed like he enjoyed, despite calling it evil aha [though I guess that is good for a horror film]), we ran into the pet store, looked longingly at puppies (there was a husky puppy there today and gahhhh), and then he drove me home.
He asked me what I was doing tomorrow, and I told him I was going to PA. But, we'll probably hang out again when I get back at some point! Which would be nice.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Paper submissions
There's a call to submit paper abstracts for the Midwest Political Science Association conference in April. The deadline is October 5th.
Some of us were talking about whether or not we should submit something. I'm not sure if I should, or if it would be a good idea. I mean, of course it would be, since I should get on the presenting papers thing as soon as possible, but the only paper I would want to submit is my thesis on the British Constitution. And while I'm very proud of that, and actually have presented it a few times before, I just fear that it's not good enough to present as a graduate paper. I mean...technically it is not, so I could always qualify and say that I wrote it and researched it as an undergraduate, if it ended up getting accepted.
Maybe I'll ask some of the professors here what they would do. Perhaps I could even show them my paper and ask them to read it - if they have time. It is obnoxiously long. And...you know, ask them if it is good enough.
Man, I really am proud of that paper, and I don't want to just archive it away if there is potential it could live on a little while longer. But...I fear the research behind it isn't good enough for a graduate student.
I don't know.
I'll talk to people.
Some of us were talking about whether or not we should submit something. I'm not sure if I should, or if it would be a good idea. I mean, of course it would be, since I should get on the presenting papers thing as soon as possible, but the only paper I would want to submit is my thesis on the British Constitution. And while I'm very proud of that, and actually have presented it a few times before, I just fear that it's not good enough to present as a graduate paper. I mean...technically it is not, so I could always qualify and say that I wrote it and researched it as an undergraduate, if it ended up getting accepted.
Maybe I'll ask some of the professors here what they would do. Perhaps I could even show them my paper and ask them to read it - if they have time. It is obnoxiously long. And...you know, ask them if it is good enough.
Man, I really am proud of that paper, and I don't want to just archive it away if there is potential it could live on a little while longer. But...I fear the research behind it isn't good enough for a graduate student.
I don't know.
I'll talk to people.
Ugh
I'm, for some reason, in a really crap mood today. Still not feeling so well (and maybe it's just the date in general), and pretty much everything certain people say is incredibly annoying to me. I'd rather just sit here and listen to my professor lecture because his voice is one of the few that doesn't sound like nails on a chalkboard right now. (We're breaking at the moment.)
Plus, I'm sitting next to this ass I cannot stand, and he went out and smoked I guess and now smells absolutely terrible. And I really have an optimal spot in the room so I have no desire to change seats.
I think my prof caught on to my bad mood; before we went on a break, he gave me a cheesy smile, which is always something I feel like people try to do to try and cheer someone up, or something like that. I don't know, maybe I'm just reading too much into it.
In better news, I have a semi-date tomorrow with that guy. I say semi because I hesitate in calling it a date myself. It should be fun, I hope. Hopefully I won't be in such a shit mood. I wouldn't want to be awful company with him.
Plus, I'm sitting next to this ass I cannot stand, and he went out and smoked I guess and now smells absolutely terrible. And I really have an optimal spot in the room so I have no desire to change seats.
I think my prof caught on to my bad mood; before we went on a break, he gave me a cheesy smile, which is always something I feel like people try to do to try and cheer someone up, or something like that. I don't know, maybe I'm just reading too much into it.
In better news, I have a semi-date tomorrow with that guy. I say semi because I hesitate in calling it a date myself. It should be fun, I hope. Hopefully I won't be in such a shit mood. I wouldn't want to be awful company with him.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Rain
I wanted to go for a bike ride over to the school to test how long it would take, but it's raining outside. So that kind of put a damper on my plans. (Get it? Oh god, please strangle me.)
I still have things to finish before tomorrow, so I might head over to the office after I eat lunch anyway, since I probably would get more work done there than here. (Especially since the roommate came back a lot earlier than I had anticipated.) Last night I wrote a list of what I wanted to get done today, and I might be more inclined to get them done at school than at my apartment. (Though one of my friends is apparently there so he and I might just sit around and talk instead of working. Ah well, such is life.)
My second print has still yet to arrive which is really upsetting since out of the two I ordered, it is the one I wanted more.
I should start bringing things to decorate my desk with. But not today, because rain.
[Edit] - Went to the office and did some reading, though so far not nearly as much as I've wanted to get done. I have a slight headache, which means that my work ethic is pretty much nonexistent at the moment. Which really sucks. I need to do some more stuff, and I do want to write a reaction paper this week to one of the articles for comparative. Bah. Work ethic, return to me please!
I'm also sleepy. Why, I have no idea. Maybe I'm getting sick, or something. Which is not at all in my best interest right now.
[Edit] - Went to the office and did some reading, though so far not nearly as much as I've wanted to get done. I have a slight headache, which means that my work ethic is pretty much nonexistent at the moment. Which really sucks. I need to do some more stuff, and I do want to write a reaction paper this week to one of the articles for comparative. Bah. Work ethic, return to me please!
I'm also sleepy. Why, I have no idea. Maybe I'm getting sick, or something. Which is not at all in my best interest right now.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Weird
I'm feeling kind of sad all of a sudden. I don't really know why.
I really hate when this happens.
One more article for tonight.
I really hate when this happens.
One more article for tonight.
Readings
I cannot read the word 'constitutions' without asking myself if the author is referring to 'little c' constitutions or 'big c' constitutions, as Vernon Bogdanor would say. Although the word is usually written with a small c in front, I have found that unless someone is referring to a specific (codified) constitution, it is usually alluding to a constitution in the big c sense.
Originally, I did not sign up for a reaction paper for this week for comparative, but now I might. One paper was concerning the evolution of institutions in 17th century England, and I have some concerns about the authors' thesis when looking at the present constitution of Great Britain. So it might be a good idea for me to write something now and opt out of one of the weeks I originally signed up for.
I'll probably read the others first before deciding, just in case I want to synthesize all/a few of the articles for my reaction paper.
Also, I miss Bogdanor's book that I used for my thesis. That thing was almost always on my person during my senior semester. I keep meaning to buy it but I really shouldn't until I have more time to read and more money to spend.
Maybe I'll make a wishlist of books I want, or something.
Still enjoying my long weekend with my own apartment. It's sweet.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Fun with fam!
Now is as good a time as any to write an entry, seeing as my sister and her fiancé are still sleeping (and I'm the weirdo that woke up early) at the moment, and don't seem like they'll be getting up anytime really soon.
On Friday, before they arrived, I went out to the pub with members of the department. Two professors were there, which was awesome because it gave us a chance to talk to them more (they're really badass and funny too), though only three members - including me - of my cohort were there. That was surprising to me, though the three of us seem to be the favourites now, so I'm not going to complain all that much.
So my sister and her fiancé arrived after I got home, and on Friday we just went to Applebee's for drinks and half-price appetizers. My roommate...kind of invited himself, which was annoying, but that is an entry for another day. After that we went back to my apartment, watched youtube videos for a while, and eventually got to bed rather early. Since starting classes I've been going to sleep usually before midnight or just around then, which is unusual for me. (The older students also told me that that pattern of sleeping early and getting a lot of hours will stop soon, which I find sad, but not surprising. I feel like I'm stockpiling hours of sleep while I can get it. If only it worked that way.)
Yesterday we went out and were on a mission to play with puppies. There was supposed to be a national adoption event at every Petsmart nationwide, but when we got there, the agencies were not there yet, and when we asked someone who worked there, she said that she thought it was only going to be kitties that day. Which is fine, but not what we were looking for. So we hit up the humane society, which was a little sad, because we couldn't take the dogs out and play with them; we could only look at them and everything. There were a few puppers that we all wished we could have taken home, but our circumstances bar us from being able to own dogs, unfortunately. We did get to go for a walk with one of the volunteers when she took one out, which was nice!
After that we decided to hit a large, locally owned pet store. Now, I would never buy a dog, as I would always want to adopt one, but I wanted to see if they had any that we could play with. Sure enough, we finally we able to! Some guy had a German Shepard out playing with a golden lab puppy that he said his friend was thinking about getting, so we decided (after leaving, going to a Coconuts, which I didn't realize was around, and returning), to use our other sister as an excuse to play with an English Bulldog puppy. Since only people who were "really interested" in buying were able to play with the dogs, we said that she had been looking for an English Bulldog for a while, since that is the type of dog her husband wants. In reality, she probably would not want to buy one either, but luckily, the salesperson did not know that! So we were able to play with the puppy and oh my god she was so cute. I wanted to steal her. She kept biting the sleeves of my jacket and my jeans and stuff which was funny and adorable and something she'll stop doing with training and time.
Once a certain time hit, we had to leave, since we decided to go to the movies and see Finding Nemo in 3D! I hadn't watched it in a while, and it was as perfect as always. Plus, they realized I was not joking about the seats and the intensity of the theatre.
We tried going to the place across the street for mini-golf, but there was some tournament going on. Thus, we could not play, unfortunately. We're going to try again today and see! If we can't, then maybe we'll just go bowling before they have to leave or something like that!
My apartment had been suffering from a fly-invasion, so we ran to Target for some bug killing stuff and other things (Halloween oreoes, a wrench to put up my new showerhead, and a red handtowel because I wanted one to match my shower curtain and rugs). When I came back, I sprayed areas I thought they were coming in from, and then throughout the night, was on a mission to massacre all the flies in the apartment with the fly swatter. I'm pretty sure I got all of them. I wish I kept count, because it was more than it should have been. Originally I tried to get them to just go out the back door so I wouldn't have to kill them, but they wouldn't. Oh well. Hopefully with the bug stuff sprayed, we won't have an invasion again.
Dinner consisted of cookies, which might not have been a good idea in retrospect since I got a little sick later on, but it was delicious at the time. We had oreoes and then baked chocolate chip ones (the stuff I used to bake them always makes too many unless I have at least 5 people or something) and watched some Eddie Izzard and South Park and Mythbusters. It was fun!
Went to bed watching the Star Trek movie, and today should be fun also! Luckily, my roommate left for the holiday yesterday, so I have the apartment to myself until Tuesday. Which is so damn sweet. I might have people over on Monday.
And next week I get to see Karen. I'm pretty stoked.
[Edit] - Oh, and one of my prints finally arrived! Which means my other one should on Monday or Tuesday, and which also means I won't feel bad about ordering more. Because I want more. Not going to Otakon to get prints this year has made me just want to get a bunch on the internet.
On Friday, before they arrived, I went out to the pub with members of the department. Two professors were there, which was awesome because it gave us a chance to talk to them more (they're really badass and funny too), though only three members - including me - of my cohort were there. That was surprising to me, though the three of us seem to be the favourites now, so I'm not going to complain all that much.
So my sister and her fiancé arrived after I got home, and on Friday we just went to Applebee's for drinks and half-price appetizers. My roommate...kind of invited himself, which was annoying, but that is an entry for another day. After that we went back to my apartment, watched youtube videos for a while, and eventually got to bed rather early. Since starting classes I've been going to sleep usually before midnight or just around then, which is unusual for me. (The older students also told me that that pattern of sleeping early and getting a lot of hours will stop soon, which I find sad, but not surprising. I feel like I'm stockpiling hours of sleep while I can get it. If only it worked that way.)
Yesterday we went out and were on a mission to play with puppies. There was supposed to be a national adoption event at every Petsmart nationwide, but when we got there, the agencies were not there yet, and when we asked someone who worked there, she said that she thought it was only going to be kitties that day. Which is fine, but not what we were looking for. So we hit up the humane society, which was a little sad, because we couldn't take the dogs out and play with them; we could only look at them and everything. There were a few puppers that we all wished we could have taken home, but our circumstances bar us from being able to own dogs, unfortunately. We did get to go for a walk with one of the volunteers when she took one out, which was nice!
After that we decided to hit a large, locally owned pet store. Now, I would never buy a dog, as I would always want to adopt one, but I wanted to see if they had any that we could play with. Sure enough, we finally we able to! Some guy had a German Shepard out playing with a golden lab puppy that he said his friend was thinking about getting, so we decided (after leaving, going to a Coconuts, which I didn't realize was around, and returning), to use our other sister as an excuse to play with an English Bulldog puppy. Since only people who were "really interested" in buying were able to play with the dogs, we said that she had been looking for an English Bulldog for a while, since that is the type of dog her husband wants. In reality, she probably would not want to buy one either, but luckily, the salesperson did not know that! So we were able to play with the puppy and oh my god she was so cute. I wanted to steal her. She kept biting the sleeves of my jacket and my jeans and stuff which was funny and adorable and something she'll stop doing with training and time.
Once a certain time hit, we had to leave, since we decided to go to the movies and see Finding Nemo in 3D! I hadn't watched it in a while, and it was as perfect as always. Plus, they realized I was not joking about the seats and the intensity of the theatre.
We tried going to the place across the street for mini-golf, but there was some tournament going on. Thus, we could not play, unfortunately. We're going to try again today and see! If we can't, then maybe we'll just go bowling before they have to leave or something like that!
My apartment had been suffering from a fly-invasion, so we ran to Target for some bug killing stuff and other things (Halloween oreoes, a wrench to put up my new showerhead, and a red handtowel because I wanted one to match my shower curtain and rugs). When I came back, I sprayed areas I thought they were coming in from, and then throughout the night, was on a mission to massacre all the flies in the apartment with the fly swatter. I'm pretty sure I got all of them. I wish I kept count, because it was more than it should have been. Originally I tried to get them to just go out the back door so I wouldn't have to kill them, but they wouldn't. Oh well. Hopefully with the bug stuff sprayed, we won't have an invasion again.
Dinner consisted of cookies, which might not have been a good idea in retrospect since I got a little sick later on, but it was delicious at the time. We had oreoes and then baked chocolate chip ones (the stuff I used to bake them always makes too many unless I have at least 5 people or something) and watched some Eddie Izzard and South Park and Mythbusters. It was fun!
Went to bed watching the Star Trek movie, and today should be fun also! Luckily, my roommate left for the holiday yesterday, so I have the apartment to myself until Tuesday. Which is so damn sweet. I might have people over on Monday.
And next week I get to see Karen. I'm pretty stoked.
[Edit] - Oh, and one of my prints finally arrived! Which means my other one should on Monday or Tuesday, and which also means I won't feel bad about ordering more. Because I want more. Not going to Otakon to get prints this year has made me just want to get a bunch on the internet.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Spam
Wow, stupid youtube spamming my blog and putting it under review with this stupid message.
In news, went to bar with members of my cohort. Had fun.
Not really in the mood to post for real aha. Just kind of mad about this spam thing. Hopefully it'll get taken care of soon.
In news, went to bar with members of my cohort. Had fun.
Not really in the mood to post for real aha. Just kind of mad about this spam thing. Hopefully it'll get taken care of soon.
Dreams
It has been a long time since a dream was so unpleasant that it woke me up way earlier than I wanted to be, and made me hesitate about going back to sleep. (Writing about it here will hopefully help me, cause I am still very tired...6 in the morning is just too early for me, despite how early I went to bed last night.)
For some reason...his family was living at my house. Why, I have no idea. And I guess it was only when all of us weren't around, which doesn't really make sense but...well I guess dreams are not supposed to make sense when contrasted with reality.
Anyway, we were in the basement and got in a huge fight. I don't remember how it started, but I do recall that in it, he basically started telling me how I was a mistake and how he didn't care about me and he just kind of laughed at everything I brought up. Basically he was just very...mean.
I remember going through this long leaving process: grabbing and putting on the wrong shoes, having to grab some things from all over the house...I don't remember, but I was delayed several times before I got out to my car. Suddenly, my oldest sister was there also, waiting for me. But then he said something else, which I don't remember, to which I laughed and screamed that he was in my house and everything that he had in there was mine and that he had no right to be there and stuff like that. And I remember just being incredibly angry.
It came time for my sister and I to leave, and one of his brothers came out really fast to talk to me, and started telling me things that he thought I should know, some about that chick. I ended up getting so angry that he (not the brother) and I got in a physical fight.
I was able to hold my own (somehow), and then he and everyone suddenly disappeared, and it was pitch black out. A pug wearing a t-shirt went across my lawn, but I remember being too frightened to even go up and pet it or anything. Legitimately, I was afraid he was hiding and was going to jump out and kill me, or something. I was very...alone.
And then I woke up.
Now, I know that it was just a dream and everything, but (though I suppose this is true for all dreams) it seemed so very...real. But I couldn't go back to sleep; this was the first nightmare (I guess I can call it that) that I've experienced in a long time.
Please let me go back to my dreams about buying tacos in Best Buys and losing bets to the President tomorrow night.
Going to go try to sleep again.
[Edit] - Fell back asleep and had another dream. This one was more pleasant but also sad in its own right. Plus much shorter. He and I were making pancakes. I remember there being a ton of batter; like we each had two bowls for no reason whatsoever. His kept coming out slightly burnt because he left the burner on too high, and I was still mixing my batter.
He kissed me. I even said "this is a dream" knowing full well that wouldn't happen in real life. He just said "maybe" and smiled.
Ugh, brain. Stop. Let me go back to dreamless nights. Or ones having nothing to do with that.
[Edit 2] - dskjhdsak I am in such a bad mood now thanks to these. Hopefully I'll have enough distractions today to get my mind off it. Wah.
For some reason...his family was living at my house. Why, I have no idea. And I guess it was only when all of us weren't around, which doesn't really make sense but...well I guess dreams are not supposed to make sense when contrasted with reality.
Anyway, we were in the basement and got in a huge fight. I don't remember how it started, but I do recall that in it, he basically started telling me how I was a mistake and how he didn't care about me and he just kind of laughed at everything I brought up. Basically he was just very...mean.
I remember going through this long leaving process: grabbing and putting on the wrong shoes, having to grab some things from all over the house...I don't remember, but I was delayed several times before I got out to my car. Suddenly, my oldest sister was there also, waiting for me. But then he said something else, which I don't remember, to which I laughed and screamed that he was in my house and everything that he had in there was mine and that he had no right to be there and stuff like that. And I remember just being incredibly angry.
It came time for my sister and I to leave, and one of his brothers came out really fast to talk to me, and started telling me things that he thought I should know, some about that chick. I ended up getting so angry that he (not the brother) and I got in a physical fight.
I was able to hold my own (somehow), and then he and everyone suddenly disappeared, and it was pitch black out. A pug wearing a t-shirt went across my lawn, but I remember being too frightened to even go up and pet it or anything. Legitimately, I was afraid he was hiding and was going to jump out and kill me, or something. I was very...alone.
And then I woke up.
Now, I know that it was just a dream and everything, but (though I suppose this is true for all dreams) it seemed so very...real. But I couldn't go back to sleep; this was the first nightmare (I guess I can call it that) that I've experienced in a long time.
Please let me go back to my dreams about buying tacos in Best Buys and losing bets to the President tomorrow night.
Going to go try to sleep again.
[Edit] - Fell back asleep and had another dream. This one was more pleasant but also sad in its own right. Plus much shorter. He and I were making pancakes. I remember there being a ton of batter; like we each had two bowls for no reason whatsoever. His kept coming out slightly burnt because he left the burner on too high, and I was still mixing my batter.
He kissed me. I even said "this is a dream" knowing full well that wouldn't happen in real life. He just said "maybe" and smiled.
Ugh, brain. Stop. Let me go back to dreamless nights. Or ones having nothing to do with that.
[Edit 2] - dskjhdsak I am in such a bad mood now thanks to these. Hopefully I'll have enough distractions today to get my mind off it. Wah.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Concerts
I've been in a huge music phase lately, which is unusual for me but has also been quite nice. Though it also makes me want to go to concerts.
I've been to a Decemberists concert, though I really would like to go again. Unfortunately, they have no concerts scheduled. Death Cab also has no shows book right now; I'm going to be on the lookout for both of these.
World/Inferno has a few; one is actually on the 23rd of November, which is the Friday after Thanksgiving. The location they're playing at is actually only 40 minutes away from my house, so that would be an optimal one to attend, since I'll be home for the holiday.
I wonder if I can convince any of my sisters or friends to come with me...
Also I realize I post a lot. I'm enjoying it.
I've been to a Decemberists concert, though I really would like to go again. Unfortunately, they have no concerts scheduled. Death Cab also has no shows book right now; I'm going to be on the lookout for both of these.
World/Inferno has a few; one is actually on the 23rd of November, which is the Friday after Thanksgiving. The location they're playing at is actually only 40 minutes away from my house, so that would be an optimal one to attend, since I'll be home for the holiday.
I wonder if I can convince any of my sisters or friends to come with me...
Also I realize I post a lot. I'm enjoying it.
Herp
So I just realized that the article I printed out and have been reading for the past...almost hour, is not actually the one that was assigned. They have almost the same titles, and I just...didn't realize that they weren't exactly the same. I decided that I would double-check, since my professor sent us a ton of articles for this week and some of the upcoming weeks, and saw that they didn't say the same stuff. Though the article I have printed out is from the right journal and everything that the syllabus said to find it, so I'm just super confused.
I'll just print out the ones from his email, since I figure that's safer to go with.
Ended up meeting with that guy today; it was nice! We just sat in one of the cafes on campus and talked for about two hours before I had to leave to go to class. More video game chat happened, aha, which was awesome. I've been hoping to find more gamer friends.
My sister and her fiancé are visiting me this weekend. I can't wait. Aside from going to PetSmart to play with puppies (hopefully) and going to movies, I'm not sure what we're going to do, though. I'll figure it out!
I still miss him greatly. Despite that I'm no longer lonely.
I'll just print out the ones from his email, since I figure that's safer to go with.
Ended up meeting with that guy today; it was nice! We just sat in one of the cafes on campus and talked for about two hours before I had to leave to go to class. More video game chat happened, aha, which was awesome. I've been hoping to find more gamer friends.
My sister and her fiancé are visiting me this weekend. I can't wait. Aside from going to PetSmart to play with puppies (hopefully) and going to movies, I'm not sure what we're going to do, though. I'll figure it out!
I still miss him greatly. Despite that I'm no longer lonely.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Movie Theatre
So I know I've written about this practically everywhere, but our movie theatre is amazing. Two of my friends and I decided to head there after class because we all had long days and wanted to procrastinate a little more on our readings. First off, the tickets were only $4.50 a person. And then...the seats. Holy hell, the seats. They were huge and cushioned and they reclined...they were like something that should go in your living room.
We all pretty much said that we might make going there a regular thing. Because seriously.
That guy from Saturday texted me. Next Thursday we're going to see Batman, cause he hasn't seen it yet. I'm...not sure if I would say it is a date? It wasn't put in that context, so I don't know if I'll think of it like that. He seems really cool.
[Edit] - Might be getting coffee with him tomorrow now. Don't drink coffee but water or something else is always good.
I've been having such a great time since classes have started. Which is just. Amazing and wonderful in and of itself.
Now I should get to reading.
We all pretty much said that we might make going there a regular thing. Because seriously.
That guy from Saturday texted me. Next Thursday we're going to see Batman, cause he hasn't seen it yet. I'm...not sure if I would say it is a date? It wasn't put in that context, so I don't know if I'll think of it like that. He seems really cool.
[Edit] - Might be getting coffee with him tomorrow now. Don't drink coffee but water or something else is always good.
I've been having such a great time since classes have started. Which is just. Amazing and wonderful in and of itself.
Now I should get to reading.
First Session
TA-ed my first session this morning. It was...less than dramatic.
Honestly I don't have words for it, because it seemed less grandiose than I had envisioned in my head previously, though I suppose I'll blame that on having to take care of business and going through what most people would think is a very dry chapter (it was all about logic and scientific statements; while I like that stuff, as a mathematics person, I know it is sort of bland to others, and trying to create a discussion about it is incredibly difficult).
Plus, I will blame some of it on the fact that it is so early. Everyone is tired at 8:30 in the morning, I know that.
Though one of the older grad students told me that it is not just me.
I'm too used to people jumping all over each other to talk. 400 level classes in a small school tend to attract only those who are really interested in the subject.
We'll see if things pick up. Maybe when we get to game theory and democratization and similar topics people will be more interested.
I need to decorate my desk, also. It is pretty bland right now.
Honestly I don't have words for it, because it seemed less grandiose than I had envisioned in my head previously, though I suppose I'll blame that on having to take care of business and going through what most people would think is a very dry chapter (it was all about logic and scientific statements; while I like that stuff, as a mathematics person, I know it is sort of bland to others, and trying to create a discussion about it is incredibly difficult).
Plus, I will blame some of it on the fact that it is so early. Everyone is tired at 8:30 in the morning, I know that.
Though one of the older grad students told me that it is not just me.
I'm too used to people jumping all over each other to talk. 400 level classes in a small school tend to attract only those who are really interested in the subject.
We'll see if things pick up. Maybe when we get to game theory and democratization and similar topics people will be more interested.
I need to decorate my desk, also. It is pretty bland right now.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
SJW
I've realized I was once too into Tumblr social justice.
I still like social justice, I just got too much into the Tumblr scene and didn't realize how bad some SJWs are on there. I took some of their definitions of things that really...aren't right, and kind of went along with it without really thinking critically about it. Ugh. Past me. Why.
I don't know why this warranted a post aha.
I still like social justice, I just got too much into the Tumblr scene and didn't realize how bad some SJWs are on there. I took some of their definitions of things that really...aren't right, and kind of went along with it without really thinking critically about it. Ugh. Past me. Why.
I don't know why this warranted a post aha.
Sleepy
Despite reading practically all day, I did have another day of nice social interactions! (And since I am very tired and want to sleep, this will be short and I might expand on it through another entry tomorrow.)
Went to the two older grad students' house, and stayed there way longer than I originally anticipated. They're awesome, and their puppy is the cutest goddamn thing. Seriously. I volunteered to be a doggie-sitter if they every needed one.
Later on, I ended up going to a housewarming party one of my cohorts was throwing, and despite that I had planned to leave around midnight, good company and conversation kept me there until two in the morning. Got to talk more with one of my peers in the poli sci department, who is super cool, and met a guy who is in mechanical engineering; we might hang out again at some point. We just kind of talked about video games and the fact that he knew someone who went to my high school and everything. I gave him my number but didn't get his, so it'll depend on whether or not he contacts me or anything.
It was cool meeting more new people!
Okay. Bedtime now, I think.
Oh, I also wanted a soda all night. I did not get one. I'll have to rectify this tomorrow.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Socialization
Today was awesome.
Every Friday in the department, there are two workshops: one for International Relations, and one for American/Comparative. Usually at these workshops, people present papers they're working on, and receive feedback from their peers. Today, it was just an informal meeting at one, and a guest speaker for the other.
What was great wasn't the workshops themselves (though the lecture was actually really interesting), but what happened between and after. I was able to meet a really adorable puppy who belongs to the second-year I stayed with for prospective weekend. It is a shame I didn't take a picture of him. He was just so cute. Though it made me want a dog even more than I already do.
After everything, we went to a pub; some grad students from every year went, and it was just really fun talking to everyone and enjoying some food and drink at the same time. The whole department just seems really down to earth and nice and willing to help, which is an amazing feeling. That uncertainty I had about whether or not I should have given UMD more of a chance? It went away. I definitely chose the right place, with people like this here.
We ended up going to two of the older students' house after we were done at the pub, and just had a really good time talking and getting to know people even better.
Before I knew it, it was almost 11 in the evening.
I don't regret not going home to do reading instead.
Every Friday in the department, there are two workshops: one for International Relations, and one for American/Comparative. Usually at these workshops, people present papers they're working on, and receive feedback from their peers. Today, it was just an informal meeting at one, and a guest speaker for the other.
What was great wasn't the workshops themselves (though the lecture was actually really interesting), but what happened between and after. I was able to meet a really adorable puppy who belongs to the second-year I stayed with for prospective weekend. It is a shame I didn't take a picture of him. He was just so cute. Though it made me want a dog even more than I already do.
After everything, we went to a pub; some grad students from every year went, and it was just really fun talking to everyone and enjoying some food and drink at the same time. The whole department just seems really down to earth and nice and willing to help, which is an amazing feeling. That uncertainty I had about whether or not I should have given UMD more of a chance? It went away. I definitely chose the right place, with people like this here.
We ended up going to two of the older students' house after we were done at the pub, and just had a really good time talking and getting to know people even better.
Before I knew it, it was almost 11 in the evening.
I don't regret not going home to do reading instead.
A tragedy
A girl who graduated from my undergrad one year ahead of me was killed in a car accident the other day. I did not know her personally, but I knew who she was. I can put a face and voice to her name. She always seemed so happy and nice and full of life.
RIP Lindsay. Your life was too short for someone so vibrant.
RIP Lindsay. Your life was too short for someone so vibrant.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
My stomach hurts. It was fine until I ate; maybe I had too much, or should have eaten something else. I don't know.
Today was the first comparative politics seminar. It seemed like it is going to be very interesting, though I need to learn the quantitative methods as we go. The professor is the same one who teaches the undergraduate intro class for comparative, also, so I imagine I'll get to know him pretty well.
Speaking of, someone called me professor in an email today. It was weird. Also, going to have to address that. I'd rather my students just call me by my first name.
I can't do any work until the two books I ordered are delivered, which won't be until Friday. So I spent time after class finishing Portal 2. Though my weekend is going to be filled to the brim with reading. I should also just suck it up and order the rest of the books also, but I'm not in the mood to spend all that money at one time. I guess it doesn't matter, since I'll be getting paid soon and will need to buy the books no matter what.
I had more planned out for this entry but I'm feeling kind of...bleh. I don't really know why. Just kind of bummed.
Plus I'm getting real tired of my stomach hurting all the damn time.
Today was the first comparative politics seminar. It seemed like it is going to be very interesting, though I need to learn the quantitative methods as we go. The professor is the same one who teaches the undergraduate intro class for comparative, also, so I imagine I'll get to know him pretty well.
Speaking of, someone called me professor in an email today. It was weird. Also, going to have to address that. I'd rather my students just call me by my first name.
I can't do any work until the two books I ordered are delivered, which won't be until Friday. So I spent time after class finishing Portal 2. Though my weekend is going to be filled to the brim with reading. I should also just suck it up and order the rest of the books also, but I'm not in the mood to spend all that money at one time. I guess it doesn't matter, since I'll be getting paid soon and will need to buy the books no matter what.
I had more planned out for this entry but I'm feeling kind of...bleh. I don't really know why. Just kind of bummed.
Plus I'm getting real tired of my stomach hurting all the damn time.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
First Day (Reprise)
Why is it that every orientation I've ever gone to, all the people really do is try to scare the ever-loving shit out of you? It seems they aim to give you that "holy hell I chose this for myself" moment, because I definitely had that a few times today. Maybe it was discussing the fact that qualifiers are next year, and from what it sounds, I pretty much need to have my dissertation idea and how it is going to be done and everything by then.
I can't even figure out what realm within American government I would like to concentrate on.
So. Nervous, yeah. But I felt more in my element when I actually went to class, even though all we did was go over the syllabus (and so, we were let out very early). I'm excited because it is a math-type course, and despite how much I complained about it, I really do miss studying mathematics a lot. Reminds me: I need to look through my numerical analysis book. The professor said we're going to do some sort of regression analysis, and I swear we did that...
Also, got to meet the rest of the first-years, and they all seem really nice and cool! Unfortunately, I didn't get the vibe that any of them were nerdy in the liking anime/video games type, which is sad, but that's okay! And, there are only two girls in the class; me and a girl from South Korea. So. That's interesting. I might get together with someone later; he wanted to go over the articles for tomorrow's comparative class. I need to finish (or at least mostly finish) one of those readings.
Speaking of comparative, I was assigned to two discussion classes to TA. Somehow, I ended up with an 8:30 class on Monday. dsjkah wah. Why did I do that. The other one is at 4:40 on Wednesdays. They start next week. I'm kind of freaking out a little about it.
Something that disheartened me though was when I was talking to another first year. He asked me why I chose BU, and I explained my reasoning to him. However, when I said I was also accepted (despite it being very late) into UMD, he gave me a look and said that he definitely would have chosen there over here. Why did he have to say that? I love this place so far. I don't want to think about how things would be different if I decided to give UMD a more serious look and ended up going there instead.
They didn't accept me until two days before the national deadline for choosing graduate schools, and they did not even do it formally. And yet. I feel like I deliberately did not give them a closer look because he is going there.
Was that the wrong reason?
I hate this second guessing. Especially since I miss him a whole lot. I really just want to tell him. Even though he knows already.
dfjlkfjdl I GOT OFF TOPIC.
So, plans for tonight include finishing the book for my comparative class for tomorrow, meeting with my classmate, and just...trying to mentally absorb everything, I suppose.
I'm excited, but also nervous. I suppose that's normal for me.
I can't even figure out what realm within American government I would like to concentrate on.
So. Nervous, yeah. But I felt more in my element when I actually went to class, even though all we did was go over the syllabus (and so, we were let out very early). I'm excited because it is a math-type course, and despite how much I complained about it, I really do miss studying mathematics a lot. Reminds me: I need to look through my numerical analysis book. The professor said we're going to do some sort of regression analysis, and I swear we did that...
Also, got to meet the rest of the first-years, and they all seem really nice and cool! Unfortunately, I didn't get the vibe that any of them were nerdy in the liking anime/video games type, which is sad, but that's okay! And, there are only two girls in the class; me and a girl from South Korea. So. That's interesting. I might get together with someone later; he wanted to go over the articles for tomorrow's comparative class. I need to finish (or at least mostly finish) one of those readings.
Speaking of comparative, I was assigned to two discussion classes to TA. Somehow, I ended up with an 8:30 class on Monday. dsjkah wah. Why did I do that. The other one is at 4:40 on Wednesdays. They start next week. I'm kind of freaking out a little about it.
Something that disheartened me though was when I was talking to another first year. He asked me why I chose BU, and I explained my reasoning to him. However, when I said I was also accepted (despite it being very late) into UMD, he gave me a look and said that he definitely would have chosen there over here. Why did he have to say that? I love this place so far. I don't want to think about how things would be different if I decided to give UMD a more serious look and ended up going there instead.
They didn't accept me until two days before the national deadline for choosing graduate schools, and they did not even do it formally. And yet. I feel like I deliberately did not give them a closer look because he is going there.
Was that the wrong reason?
I hate this second guessing. Especially since I miss him a whole lot. I really just want to tell him. Even though he knows already.
dfjlkfjdl I GOT OFF TOPIC.
So, plans for tonight include finishing the book for my comparative class for tomorrow, meeting with my classmate, and just...trying to mentally absorb everything, I suppose.
I'm excited, but also nervous. I suppose that's normal for me.
First Day
Orientation starts in less than an hour, and then I have my first graduate class beginning at 1:15. I would blame my upset stomach on my nervousness, and that very well might be it, but my stomach is always feeling like that lately.
I would say I need to see a doctor, but I've gone so many times in the past few months. Really, I have no desire to go again until my scheduled appointment in November.
There might be a post later about how things go today.
I would say I need to see a doctor, but I've gone so many times in the past few months. Really, I have no desire to go again until my scheduled appointment in November.
There might be a post later about how things go today.
Monday, September 3, 2012
TA
Got my TA assignment...the day before classes start. I am a little annoyed, because of how late this was found out, as well as due to the fact that I was told that I would only need to TA one semester this academic year, and I would have rather saved it for next semester when the U.S. government classes will be. Or, I'm going to have to TA both semesters regardless of what was said.
I'm teaching introduction to comparative politics.
I'm a bit nervous. General comparative is not my strong suit; although my thesis was technically comparative, it was a very specific case study and did not discuss the overarching themes that comparative intro classes normally delve into.
Plus, does this mean I need to buy/rent the textbooks for that class too? I mean, I need to read that stuff also to know what I am talking about.
In a way, it's good; now I can get a refresher class while taking the 600 level comparative course at the same time. I would like my sessions to have a Socratic seminar-type feel, but that will depend on how many people are in the course. But I always found I got the most from my politics classes when I was in a seminar.
In other news, reading articles with the notation X | Y where that does not mean "X divides Y" is really throwing me off. I'm going to need to ask the professor about this. Notation differences are going to suck hardcore.
I'm teaching introduction to comparative politics.
I'm a bit nervous. General comparative is not my strong suit; although my thesis was technically comparative, it was a very specific case study and did not discuss the overarching themes that comparative intro classes normally delve into.
Plus, does this mean I need to buy/rent the textbooks for that class too? I mean, I need to read that stuff also to know what I am talking about.
In a way, it's good; now I can get a refresher class while taking the 600 level comparative course at the same time. I would like my sessions to have a Socratic seminar-type feel, but that will depend on how many people are in the course. But I always found I got the most from my politics classes when I was in a seminar.
In other news, reading articles with the notation X | Y where that does not mean "X divides Y" is really throwing me off. I'm going to need to ask the professor about this. Notation differences are going to suck hardcore.
Publications
I would like to get my undergraduate thesis published, if that is possible.
Unfortunately, it's really long. When I said it was 82 pages in Microsoft Word, my roommate kind of shot me down immediately, claiming that the longest articles are only around 50 pages or so. I claimed I would be able to cut some, but...no, I really don't think I can cut that much. Not enough to cut it down more than 30 pages.
But, I think I'll go to a professor sometime soon. I'm actually really proud of that thesis; I took a topic I had no knowledge about prior to my studying in London (the topic of the paper is the British Constitution, which I have an amazing love for), and took one semester to write something which normally would take people two semesters to do. (I was under a shorter time constraint due to my graduating a semester early, and yet still wanting honors in politics.)
I just want to see if it is possible. I would really like it if I could at least try.
Unfortunately, it's really long. When I said it was 82 pages in Microsoft Word, my roommate kind of shot me down immediately, claiming that the longest articles are only around 50 pages or so. I claimed I would be able to cut some, but...no, I really don't think I can cut that much. Not enough to cut it down more than 30 pages.
But, I think I'll go to a professor sometime soon. I'm actually really proud of that thesis; I took a topic I had no knowledge about prior to my studying in London (the topic of the paper is the British Constitution, which I have an amazing love for), and took one semester to write something which normally would take people two semesters to do. (I was under a shorter time constraint due to my graduating a semester early, and yet still wanting honors in politics.)
I just want to see if it is possible. I would really like it if I could at least try.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
dhskjf
There are some days where I love him, and other days where I hate him. Days where I believe him, and days where I think he spews nothing but lies to keep me from walking out of his life. It's not fair. He walked away from me first. He is the one who left me alone and depressed for months.
Ugh.
That gross-feeling knot in my stomach has shown itself again.
It makes me not eat. I'm never hungry. It causes my parents and loved ones to worry about me greatly. Since I first found out about the...whatever it is, between him and that chick, my appetite has all but disappeared. Since then...I've lost so much weight.
Even since I've been at my apartment, where I thought I was doing better with food, I've lost weight. People have expressed concern; my parents have, my aunt has, my sisters have...
I feel sick. Constantly.
But there's nothing physically wrong with me.
Ugh.
That gross-feeling knot in my stomach has shown itself again.
It makes me not eat. I'm never hungry. It causes my parents and loved ones to worry about me greatly. Since I first found out about the...whatever it is, between him and that chick, my appetite has all but disappeared. Since then...I've lost so much weight.
Even since I've been at my apartment, where I thought I was doing better with food, I've lost weight. People have expressed concern; my parents have, my aunt has, my sisters have...
I feel sick. Constantly.
But there's nothing physically wrong with me.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
School concerns
Classes begin on Tuesday. And, with the beginning of a new semester and completely new chapter of my life, the nervousness, anxiety, and self-doubt have begun to set in.
Three of the four of my readings for comparative politics have been completed, and with each of them, my uneasiness has grown. I was never trained in the science of quantitative analysis in politics, and Binghamton (and many research institutions, in fact) stresses such analysis for its PhD students. Yes, I am also a mathematics major, so I understand how to work with numbers and logic. However, I never took a statistics class, which seems to be the favoured research method among political scientists.
I wondered and do wonder if I can model something in the political arena using differential equations, similar to what I did for my summer fellows research...though that was modeling an ecological system. Still...it is something I am thinking about.
Will I be able to live up to the expectations of my new professors? Of my fellow students? While my academic record would say that I should be able to, I always doubt myself. I am my harshest critic, after all.
Regardless, I can't wait for classes to start again. I really can't.
Switching topics a little...
I would like to have an opportunity to live in the United Kingdom after I graduate. However, my interest in U.S. government severely casts doubt on whether or not that is an attainable goal. I do not think that the United Kingdom will really have many jobs available for a person who decided to specialize in the American political system. In my head, I rectify this problem when I claim that I will make my minor specialization British government, but I need to clear a few hurdles before I am able to make that a reality.
Finding a professor who will spot me, so to say, in my efforts to immerse myself in the British system will not be an easy task, I fear. While there are many comparativists at my institution, I don't think any of them specialize in the United Kingdom, and I don't know if they will have the same desire as I do to learn about it.
But...I may even be more interested in British politics than American. (Which is saying quite a bit; let's just say I am really bummed about having no American government classes this semester.)
I wonder if I am thinking about this too soon, since I need to get the degree first. But it still makes me very nervous.
Three of the four of my readings for comparative politics have been completed, and with each of them, my uneasiness has grown. I was never trained in the science of quantitative analysis in politics, and Binghamton (and many research institutions, in fact) stresses such analysis for its PhD students. Yes, I am also a mathematics major, so I understand how to work with numbers and logic. However, I never took a statistics class, which seems to be the favoured research method among political scientists.
I wondered and do wonder if I can model something in the political arena using differential equations, similar to what I did for my summer fellows research...though that was modeling an ecological system. Still...it is something I am thinking about.
Will I be able to live up to the expectations of my new professors? Of my fellow students? While my academic record would say that I should be able to, I always doubt myself. I am my harshest critic, after all.
Regardless, I can't wait for classes to start again. I really can't.
Switching topics a little...
I would like to have an opportunity to live in the United Kingdom after I graduate. However, my interest in U.S. government severely casts doubt on whether or not that is an attainable goal. I do not think that the United Kingdom will really have many jobs available for a person who decided to specialize in the American political system. In my head, I rectify this problem when I claim that I will make my minor specialization British government, but I need to clear a few hurdles before I am able to make that a reality.
Finding a professor who will spot me, so to say, in my efforts to immerse myself in the British system will not be an easy task, I fear. While there are many comparativists at my institution, I don't think any of them specialize in the United Kingdom, and I don't know if they will have the same desire as I do to learn about it.
But...I may even be more interested in British politics than American. (Which is saying quite a bit; let's just say I am really bummed about having no American government classes this semester.)
I wonder if I am thinking about this too soon, since I need to get the degree first. But it still makes me very nervous.
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