I've just been so tired lately.

I mean, my default state is tired, honestly (to the point my psych said she may look into some sort of stimulant if the thing we are doing now doesn't help).  It's been worse this past week, though.  All I want to do is go back home and crawl into bed and sleep but I know I can't...or at least shouldn't.  If I do I'll be asleep for hours and then I'll just wake up still tired and then angry that I'm still tired.

It is especially frustrating because I haven't been able to really think clearly.  My thoughts are sluggish and cloudy, which makes it very difficult to write or grade or do anything that requires some semblance of thought.

I have also been dealing with flashbacks this week.  Like, I just sort of hear them in my head and then I'm mad at myself for them because, again, it's been fucking years and that impact was so great that one thing happens that is reminiscent and I'm pulled back so fast it's almost gives me whiplash.  And then I look at a friend of mine who went through similar things with his ex-fiance (so it might have been worse on that front) and he is fucking fine and has no problems and I just stare at him and wish that was me.  Maybe blame it on my mental illnesses and shit, I don't know.  And a combination of that plus being mostly aroace (I guess grey, technically speaking), so that shit was rare.

...

I wanted to write more but I keep losing my train of thought due to being tired.

Also, unrelated: Hollow Knight is so good and might be one of my favorite games ever, even if I'm having major problems trying to defeat Nightmare King Grimm and the godhome stuff.  I've been thinking about getting a Switch Lite (I do really want one but it is still expensive) and if I did I'd probably get the collectors edition for it even though I finished it at least 3 times already on the One.  It's so good.