Depressive episodes are fantastic I love doing nothing all day and not being able to go to the gym and having to force myself to stay awake I love it.

Exit option has been loud in my head the past few days. Like...I can't be productive so I'm a waste of space and everything else why can't I just be normal and okay and able to just deal with this stuff. Why can't I just be able to function without going into these periods of sadness and blankness and inactivity. How can people just do that - I want to be like that.

But my brain is all fucked up so. Yeah.