So yesterday while I was still at my friend's, I texted best friend saying I was sad and being stupid as fuck and she called me, so I ran out with Callie, and proceeded to get hysterical and finally told her about my suicidal ideations acting up again.  And that my being around two couples as the fifth wheel is exhausting, and I'm reminded always of the ease to which I'm replaced and stuff.

She calmed me down and explained that I'm not replaceable (even though I doubt that greatly), and that others just have different priorities and that's not a value judgment on me or anything.

Still though, I hate being surrounded by couples, and I am surrounded by them.

And I don't know...I just feel like people probably had a better time last semester without me around bringing them down and being all depressed and stupid all the time.  I should probably just stay away from everyone.

I dunno.

I'll write more about this tomorrow.  It's late now.