I am finding days blur together or go by so fast that I almost feel like I'm not conscious. It is hard to describe. I did nothing again all day, sadly and pathetically, but like...it felt like time went by so fast. Like I woke up and said I was going to do things and then it was dark out. The day just...went by and I did not notice it. I'm not sure what that means, really, especially since it has been happening more and more frequently.

I have to head down to the Island this weekend since comic con is this weekend but even that I'm kind of...blank about? Like there is no real excitement in me but I guess at this rate that is also normal. I hate that it is but...it is. Rarely do things feel special anymore. I am mostly looking forward to new prints even though I have so many already and I'm poor af. But if I could find a print of Ignis and white-haired Shiro that would be fab.

Sad thing is after I realized how late it was and how I did not do anything, my immediate thought was, "wow you are such a waste of space and resources just end it already you useless sack of garbage." And that sort of thought is just...common enough that I barely react to it anymore. It just sits there. It's weird.

But I hate this unproductivity. And like at this point I wish it was fueled by laziness because that is fixable. Lately I have just been feeling like I cannot do anything about it and I guess I am spiraling and just lying in bed all fucking day.

Sigh. I am a mess.