So I'm trying to do this mind mapping thing where I list out my skills/strengths and values and enabling skills and whatnot and I'm sitting here just staring blankly because I truly believe that I have no fucking skills whatsoever.

Sure, I guess I can write and edit and occasionally do some math/stats when needed (and after I take that shit home and double check everything to make sure I did it right and even then I probably did some shit wrong because lawl I suck), but I'm supposed to have a list of like...1-2 dozen.

And I'm sure "procrastinating," "playing video games instead of doing actual work," and "hiding from problems" are not exactly skills.


Also, super frustrating: I actually did work for a few hours today but have nothing to show for it because it was all data shit and nothing actually worked so I still have absolutely nothing new for what I'm supposed to present on Wednesday in terms of my prospectus.


I keep saying that things will be "better" after I finish my PhD.  At least after the prospectus is finished.  But, as it has been brought to my attention, I never say how it will be, or why it will be.  I just keep saying that it will be better.

...I'm starting to doubt that.

Really, I'm doubting that I can find passion in anything anymore.  Except video games, at this rate.


Is it worth me being miserable to get this piece of paper?

Then again, will me jumping from this path lead to anything better?  Or is everything just going to remain shitty?