So it is the last day of 2015 and while I know I'm very pleased to put this terrible year behind me, I also don't feel much relief or happiness going into 2016.

The past few days I've spent staying up until around 4 in the morning and then sleeping until around 1 or 2 and wanting to stay asleep even more but deciding not to because I know I wouldn't hear the end of it from the fam.  And I've been having vivid dreams that have made me feel even more tired, so...that's always fun.

Nothing feels special to me anymore, or at least it hasn't in the past few weeks.  Christmas, New Years...they're just days.  Nothing special really about them.  Not anymore.

I've been invited to two different parties for tonight and I'm not going to either of them because they require traveling and I don't want to do that.  Also because I know in my current state I would just bother everyone and be a big stain on everyone's fun time.  And of course, I don't need the reminder of everyone being happy with their relationships and whatnot while I sit around alone.  While I have become more comfortable again with being single romantically and everything, it is more that people actually have relationships with others that are fulfilling to them.  Whereas I feel hollow in almost every interaction I have with friends, lately.  It's not their fault, of course.  I'm just terrible overall and can't seem to hold a connection to anyone.


Eh, maybe more later.