I really hate being asked what I want for Christmas/birthdays/holidays in general.

Like...I do have some things in mind but then I tell myself things such as "no that's too big, I can't ask for that," or "no that's dumb I can get that myself when I get money" or the like.

Ultimately I've come to the conclusion that I tell myself these things because I don't think I deserve to get gifts from anyone.  I don't want to ask for things that I don't think I should get from others.