Leaving for Baltimore tomorrow for Otakon 2015!

I'm honestly excited, and that is kind of a big deal for me?  Last year, I knew I should have felt excited, but I truly wasn't.  Not like how I am now.  Then again, last year at this time I couldn't really feel much of anything.  I was a hollow shell.  Now, I actually have emotions again, and the emotions aren't all anger and sadness, but really excited and happy at times!

Like, since I've been on the abilify, things have been so much better.  I'm sure some of things have to do with my taking a break from school to just do whatever I want, writing more things that I actually want to write, and exercising more (even though I've gotten lazy again since I've been home because I have no one to work out and motivate me like I do when I go to classes in Bing), but I think switching the medication was the catalyst which started everything.  And I feel less anxious about talking to people and stuff too!  I was able to do something nice for a mutual on tumblr who was feeling super sad because I wasn't too anxious to speak with her, and that is kind of a big deal for me.

I still would like to find a therapist when I get back, because I can't use Nancy while I'm on medical leave, but things don't seem nearly as terrible as they did two months ago.  Hell, maybe I really could go back after just one semester off and finish!  That would be great, in my opinion!  I still don't know if academia is really what I want, but having the PhD is still something I think I want, if even for my own ambitious desires.  But again, I don't want to be miserable, so perhaps it is still something to think about.

But yes, new medication has been good to me.