I've been overall better at not caring what other people think in terms of the topics I choose to write about. 

But for some reason today I've been feeling sick thinking about how people have pointed at my work to accuse me of bullshit that I never would do, and to mock me for wanting to express my own pain through writing about painful things.

How these people are popular in the fandom I'm most active in and try to take safe haven in, and how my 'friends' (I guess but not really anymore) have basically not given two shits that these people made me feel like garbage and have instead said how great they are and everything.

I'm just...again, really expendable.  It's easy for people to be rid of me, while they would fight for their other friends.

And this is all fucking stupid anyway.  All I want to do is write shit.