Instead of even trying to do any sort of work on the second chapter of my dissertation I instead sat around all day in my room playing games on my phone like a shithead.

I know I'm still at my parents' place but I really fucking need to get my shit together. 

I feel like I say this to myself every few weeks and nothing changes.  I'm too stuck in my habits and I need some sort of outside coercion that I do not have. 

And I've just been mulling about lost friends and shit instead of saying 'fuck it' and acknowledging that they were always going to be temporary and never ones who would make a lasting impact in my life.



Also I wish I could draw so that I could make some extra cash on like...commissions (if I was lucky enough to get anyone anyway) but I'm too impatient to really learn, I've come to fully realize.  Unfortunately, writing isn't seen in the same way.