I feel weird lately.

I don't know if it is because we've been playing around with my medication in terms of doses, but it is strange.

Previously, I went up on something that sort of caused me to get shaky and tense and I was sort of irritated all the time, so we've gone back down.  Then, I guess because my shit has been continually resistant to meds, we went up for my mood stabilizer, and I cannot tell if what I'm feeling now is because of that or because I just am sad about other things.

Really, sad isn't the best word...it's more like an empty feeling.  Like I have no real thoughts and they are clouded by a fog that right now is making my head feel heavy.  It's odd.  I want to do things.  I know I have to do things.  But I also can't seem to bring myself to do them.  Whenever I try I just become weirdly exhausted and then feel like I need to sit down and do nothing for a while.  I hate it.  I just want to be a normal functioning person.  Like...have I just passed into being lazy and I've convinced myself that it is something else?  But...I don't want to be and everything seems so...difficult.  Tiring. 

I know that sounds like I'm whining.  It's hard to explain.

But I just am sort of.  Blank.  With a slight headache that hasn't seemed to go away. 

Hell, even though classes were cancelled today (snowstorm) and tomorrow morning, I'm still contemplating cancelling Wednesday if this keeps up.  I also have not made questions for Wednesday...it's hard to think of them, especially with a topic I don't know much about (we're doing human rights this week, which is not at all in my area of interest or expertise).  And in that situation, I would just ask my leaders to give me what they prepared and basically duplicate their first discussion leader grade, or something.  I don't know.

I cannot wait for this semester to be done.